Zombie Attack!

Currently, Twitter is suffering for a denial of service attack, which is leaving me with no outlet to express myself. Thus, I turn to my oft neglected blog.

Last night, I sent a tweet that any book or movie with vampires in it would be better it the vampires were zombies. I feel that I should elaborate on that with a few examples. Nearly everyone I know is not a teenage girl, so most of the people I know who have read "Twilight" didn't like it. The most common complaints I have heard involve bad prose, bad plot structure, and incredibly dumb characters. I don't have an opinion either way, because I have only read the sample chapter on the Barnes & Noble e-reader, but replacing the vampires with zombies fixes everything.

In "Zombie Twilight", Bella leaves sunny Arizona to live with her dad in cloudy Washington and is given a truck by him when she arrives. The next day, she drives to her new school. She goes to a few classes and meets some people, and then goes to lunch. Across the room, she make eye contact with a boy, a boy like no one she has ever seen. In fact, everyone at his table looks like him, with skin a putrid grey pallor, and dead eyes that never blink.
"Who is he?" Bella asks a girl whose name she has forgotten.
"That's Edward. Everyone tries to stay away from him."
Bella decides to go and introduce herself. Edward and his friends eat her.
Fin.

Much shorter, no time for bad plots and derivative prose.

Here's the plot of Anna Rice's "Interview with the Zombie":
A writer goes into a room with a zombie and gets eaten.

I'm still thinking about the plot of "Zombie Dracula", but I think in that Dracula would be a necromancer, raising armies of the undead to raze London to the ground.

I hope Twitter starts working soon.

Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry